Love in the 21st Century
Love. One word that can already be confusing as hell. When you throw in today’s age of texting, social media, online dating, long-distance relationships, and who knows what else, the idea of love can seem like an even more complex, and unfamiliar, area. Let me start by saying that this is my own personal opinion on what I think love in the 21st century means to me, at the end of the day, however, I believe that love should be whatever you define it as. Whether its between two men, two women, a husband and wife, or high school sweethearts….love is not something that can be defined by society.
So, I am 27 years old…not that its time to send me out to pasture or anything, but I have to admit that the idea of love and relationships has seemed to evolve into a whole nother’ thing in today’s age, and especially since I have been that naive, bright-eyed highschooler madly in puppy love. And I am not just speaking from my own perceptions of today’s “love”, I also have a younger brother, who is 17 going on 30, that gives me the daily scoop on his “relationships” and “boos”, in addition to the various rules that apparently teen dating consists of. In regards to love and all this technology that has popped over the last few years, it seems that, from my experience, “relationships” (and I used that term loosely) have evolved from chirping your girlfriend/boyfriend on the latest Nextel (and that was after the phase of calling your sweetheart on their house phone, get into a good convo, then have their parents, or yours, come onto the line and say they need to use the phone) to commenting on their pictures/statuses via Facebook and/or Instagram…things that didn’t exist a decade ago. What can one do though? Times will keep a-changing…I’m confident that love will keep up however 🙂
While we’re on the subject of love in the 21st century, let me steer away from technology and love and just briefly speak on what my own understanding of love is because, regardless of the technological advances that has emerged, I can definitely say my understanding of it is one thing that has evolved over the years. I was a selfish girlfriend. Boom. That’s it. Let me clarify though…I wasn’t a selfish person (well at least no more than the average person, I think we all have a bit of a selfish trait within us, but that’s neither here nor there). Even though I wasn’t a selfish individual (per se 🙂 ), when it came down to relationships….I don’t know…I just had some helluva growing up to do. Unfortunately I didn’t make that realization until years later. As I look back on it, I had my fair share of selfish moments…moments that I’m not going to go into because that’s not necessary, but they got pretty bad. And the messed up thing is I really don’t have a valid reason why…well, at least not one that doesn’t sound like a bucket of crap. I was young, naive, felt like what I wanted and/or needed was the only thing that mattered…take your pick. I didn’t grow up and get over myself until relationships were destroyed and feelings were hurt. Even more specifically, I didn’t TRULY grow up until I became involved with the gentleman I am currently with…the apple of my eye…the thorn in my side…the father of my child…the love of my life…the head in my ache….you get the idea.
It was not until we started our life together that I realized what love really is….for me. I’m not saying some generic definition like I had in the beginning of our relationship. I mean the deep, messy s*** that can sometimes happen in relationships, the stuff that stays between you and your partner because no on else would probably understand. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have loved before and if I were honest with myself I would say that I was in love before….once. My high school sweetheart (yea I was that girl)…we grew away from each other in the end, but we loved each other hard and I will always have a fondness for him. Even so, I don’t think anyone can truly comprehend what love is to them until they REALLY begin to start their life with someone (and let’s not even mention live together…that’s a whole nother’ discussion). My boyfriend has seen all my flaws…the nasty stuff..I mean I hit rock bottom with this man..and yet, he still loves me like its the beginning. And vice versa. Just to be clear, we are not perfect by a long shot…we argue…he annoys me, I annoy him, there are days when we want to shoot each other with rubber bullets…we both make our own mistakes, and we both are still learning each other.But even with the crap I can honestly say that it did nothing but strengthen the foundation of our relationship (and trust me, it was real touch and go for a bit). And THAT is what love in the 21st century means for me; when you bring in honesty, communication, trust, and support in your relationship, everything else will fall in place. Oh, and have fun! I don’t think enough couples have fun nowadays…travel…go out…have dates…flirt..all that stuff.
Whether its the 21st century, or centuries ahead, when you are blessed to find the person who is willing to put up with you and vice versa, take care of him/her. And it regards to what love is, create your own definition…there is no right or wrong answer (unless you think love is about ruthless, dominating power or something…that might be a not-so-great answer, but to each their own!).
Til’ next time….